


All The Way Across The World

by freddinnuendo



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: AND IT'S CUTE, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Pen Pals, Completed, Falling In Love, First Meetings, John and Roger send emails and letters, Letter and e-mail format, Love Confessions, Love Letters, M/M, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:15:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 21,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21806491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freddinnuendo/pseuds/freddinnuendo
Summary: When Roger's best friends practically force him to sign up for a pen pal site, he expects to come into contact with literally nobody... but when he sets his eyes upon a profile belonging to an individual named 'John D', he can't help but click the 'Send Message!' Icon...•A story told through telephone calls as well as (love) letters, and sometimes a little description, too.
Relationships: John Deacon/Roger Taylor
Comments: 59
Kudos: 114





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> A/N  
> Welcome! This fanfiction will also be cross posted on my Ao3 which is 'freddinnuendo' :)
> 
> Also, the chapters, or 'books', of this story will mostly just consist of letters our two lovebirds send eachother... some chapters will also consist of some description, but not much... hope you enjoy!

"I'm not signing up for a pen pal site." Roger scolded the two boys sat in front of him with pleading looks in their eyes. Brian and Freddie had been bugging him for the past two weeks about 'not having a social life except for us and the girls you shag occasionally'. Roger had insisted that he had a perfectly fine and stable social life and he didn't need them on his arse 24/7 trying to help him. 

"Oh come on, please, Rog." Brian practically begged. "It'll be funny, anyways. Bunch of nerds will be on there, I bet. We can take the piss out of 'em." The curly haired boy raised an eyebrow and sported a mischievous smirk. 

Freddie nodded in agreement. "Exactly. Plus, that means you'll be the hottest guy on there honey, no competition at all. Doesn't that boost your ego a little?" Roger saw Freddie elbow Brian softly as if to let him know they were onto something. 

Roger thought about this. They weren't exactly wrong. Plus, it could be fun to take the piss a bit. Exchanging a few letters with an acne covered lad desperately needing a shag couldn't be that boring, right? If all went well, it could actually be quite fun. 

"I'll only do it if you guys do it with me. Run the account together. Send the letters together. I ain't doing this on my own." Roger folded his arms and tapped his foot on the wooden floor. Brian and Freddie looked at each other, silently asking one another if they should take part too. 

Finally, the two nodded. "Fine." Brian answered. "This could be quite fun, actually." He added, strolling over the room to retrieve the red laptop Roger used for his uni work. He placed it in the blonde's lap and the latter unfolded it and pressed the power on button.

Freddie directed him to the website and there they were, making an account. "What shall we call ourselves?" Roger wondered, eyes not leaving the bright screen. 

"Let's just put it in your name, Rog." Freddie suggested, reaching over to type _'Roger Meddows'_ into the username section, not using Roger's real last name for obvious reasons. They created a password, _'freddie-has-a-massive-dong'_ (courtesy of the main man himself, of course) and off they were. 

_**Two hours later... Freddie has went home and Brian is in a lecture...** _

**Roger** : you and brian aren't allowed to take part in the pen pal thing anymore.

**Freddie** : what? wtf why lol? x

**Roger** : because i found the most adorable and hottest guy ever and you two aren't gonna fuck this up for me

**Roger** : x


	2. the first e-mail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first e-mail that Roger sends the one and only 'John D'!

dear **John D**

this is a really weird experience for me actually. never done anything like this before haha. anyways, i'm roger and i would be honoured to be your pen pal thingy or whatever... but you'll probably have to explain it to me a little bit (sorry!)

god this message is such a mess but, as you can probably tell, i'm a little nervous... i only chose to message you because you look friendly in your profile picture and when i saw 'john d' i immediately thought of 'john dick' hahahahhahahahaha. sorry.

it would be amazing to hear from you back. as said before, i would love to be your pen pal. i'm much more nicer and much more charming when i'm not shaking from anxiousness.

from,

**Roger Meddows** :)


	3. the second e-mail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John's reply! uwu.

Dear **Roger Meddows** ,

Hi! And thank God you have no clue what you're doing either because neither do I... You're only the second person who has messaged me here, the first one being a total creep (he said he was 17 like me but he was definitely in his 40s)..

Basically, from what i've gathered, we just send each-other's addresses and we send letters to each other haha. Don't know what about but hey, it sounded fun. 

Not sure what to say about your 'John Dick' comment. Now that you've said it I can't unsee it... thanks alot, 'Roger'... I assume that's your name. 

Anyways, assuming you want to be pen pals, here's my address (please don't be a married man in his mid 50s...)

_2 Via Galli_

_Lombardy_

_Crema, Italy_

_26013_

From, 

**John D**


	4. the third e-mail

Dear **John D**

i promise you i am not a married man in his mid 50s... although i wouldn't put it past the other bloke you were on about. 

my mum always used to warn me that everybody on the internet is a creeper but you seem genuine enough... please don't be a married man in his mid 50s ;)

and WOW! you live in italy? thats so fuckin cool. i've always wanted to go to italy.

can i ask you one request? do you mind if you sent the first letter? i'm awful at opening messages (you could probably tell from that awful first message i sent you yesterday. sorry about that by the way.)

my address is this..

_35 gravesville road_

_kensington_

_london, england_

_LN3 8LN_

hope to hear from you soon :)

From,

**Roger Meddows**


	5. the first letter

Dear Roger Meddows,

Hi! It's John... from the website... John D. Should I still call you Roger Meddows or is that just your online name? Shall I just call you Roger? Sorry, i'm awkward. My apologies.

To be honest, I don't really know what to write so, let's start with the basics, yeah? This is kinda weird since we've already chatted online and i'm writing this as if it's the first time we're talking. God, i'm so sorry, i'm the most awkward ever. Can you tell i'm impossibly shy? 

Anyways, i'm John. ~~You already knew that though.~~ I'm 17 and yes, I live in italy. I'm with my grandparents in Crema at the moment in their villa. It's truly beautiful but so bloody warm. I lived in London, too, until I was 14 and ever since then i've been here. The food here is better at least. 

Should I list my interests? You might not be interested though, i'm pretty boring. Oh, I play bass guitar... that's quite cool, I think? I'm pretty good, actually. I took that up once I moved to Italy because when I first got here I found it dreadfully boring. But then I bought a bike and nowadays I take a two hour bike ride around the towns almost daily. 

I do miss London, though. I used to go to Kensington market a lot with my mum. Do you live near Kensington market? It's fantastic. 

What about you? I'd love to hear more about you. You sound cool, anyways. I like your name by the way, too. Roger. Rog-uh. Rog-ah. How do you pronounce it? Rog-uh or Rog-ah? Or Rog-ur? I keep rambling. I do that a lot. I won't keep you long haha.

That was a waffle of a paragraph ^. You can skip it if you want. 

I'm looking forward to getting your reply :))

From,

John... you can call me Deaky if you want, though. My grandmama does.. ahaha.

:)


	6. the second letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> roger’s reply! ;)

Dear John, 

Hello! And please, call me Roger. I only chose Roger Meddows for my username because my friends said it looked 'nicer, darling'... my friend Freddie uses pet names a lot.

And don't apologise for being shy, it's hella okay. I kinda like it actually. Over confident people, men in particular, just seem like arseholes and it's a massive turn off.

The fact that you live in Italy is so fuckin cool. Can you speak Italian?? I dare you to write me a letter in Italian if you can. It's just a hot language. Massive turn on. How come you moved from London, may I ask? You don't have to answer if you don't want to :)

John! Stop apologising! Of course i'm interested in your interests.

You play BASS? Sorry, this is v. forward but that's hot. Bass guitar is a hot instrument. I play drums woohoo. Maybe we could start a band? I think we should start a band. We're gonna start a band. But, the two hour bike ride seems like hell. I break a sweat just getting out of bed in the morning.

I don't live far off Kensington market. Just bout 10 minute walk. I actually run a stall there with Freddie, the bloke I mentioned earlier. It's just a shabby clothing store but it pays off the rent and little food.

And you pronounce my name like 'rog-ur'. At least I do, anyways. You can pronounce it however you like.

This seems a bit forward again but I like you John. I reckon we could become great friends. I hope to hear from you again soon. This pen pal business is actually way more fun than I expected it to be. Maybe it's just because I have a very good pen pal. Better than anybody else's pen pal I bet ;)

From,  
Rog-ur. 

PS. I will definitely be calling you Deaky from now on.


	7. the third letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John's reply!

Dear Rog-ur

Freddie sounds fun. 

And okay! I'll stop apologising. But I am truly sorry. I'm awful at conversation. Please feel free to just not reply. Yes, i'll probably cry since you're the only source of contact I have with somebody near my age (at least I hope you are. You could be a creepy old man for all I know) and it truly is a delight to exchange these letters with you. They make my day, honestly.

And yes, I can speak Italian. I wouldn't say i'm fluent, per se, but I do know a great deal. And what would be the point in sending a letter in pure Italian? you wouldn't understand it, you numptey, anche se sarebbe molto divertente! 

Should I say im flattered that you think Italian is a 'hot' language and a 'massive turn on'? 

And of course you may ask why I moved. Feel free to ask anything. I moved here when I was 14 because, long story short, my father passed away and my mother hit depression quite hard. She couldn't look after me and so my grandmother offered to look after me here. Sorry for the downer on the conversation but you asked! 

And yes! I do play bass. Again, should I say i'm flattered that you again think that's hot? Well, I am. Very flattered. Thank you :p . 

And yes, we should start a band. Invite Freddie, too. He seems like a rather great guy. Sounds quite camp, too, but what can I say? If you saw me in real life you'd probably say the same... but then again, you wouldn't be wrong haha. 

I like you too, Roger. I'm glad you messaged me. It feels good to have a friend (that sounds so melancholy but Italy is just full of old age Italian pensioners.... at least where I am it is.) 

Reply soon! Please. haha. 

From,

John.


	8. the fourth letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger’s reply! I know the romance is dragging a little but they are still pretty much strangers! Hopefully the goofy letters are keeping all you lovely readers into the story! I promise that once the romance starts kicking in, it’ll kick in HARD... i love some good deep and heartfelt love letters ;)

Dear John. No. Deaky*,

There's no way i'm just not going to reply! What do you think of me, Deaky? I'm not that awful of a human being, geez! ;) and again, I promise i'm not a middle aged old man. And I must say the same for your letters. They make my day, too.

I must say I sound much more proper on these letters. I'm practically illiterate in real life! Wait, no, illiterate isn't the right word. I can read and write, I promise. I'm just very... not proper irl. I use a lot of slang. Yet I sound like a proper english man on paper. Be proud, I beg.

You being able to speak Italian is hot. PS, what does that sentence mean? I tried to pronounce it out loud but it sounded like I was having a stroke.

Why do I keep saying everything is hot?  
I did just drink some Prosecco so...  
God, that's ever so feminine of me. Prosecco.

But, you should definitely be flattered by me thinking everything about you and your lifestyle is hot. I wanna live in Italy :( 

I'm sorry about your father, Deaks. I really am. It must have been real hard, i'm sure. I send you a hug :) 

Do you ever think about moving back to the UK? Or do you prefer it in Italy?

I think I might start sending my letters with special delivery so they reach you faster. Yes it costs a little more but I am always eager to receive your reply. 

Reply soon! ;)  
Hugs,  
Roger.


	9. the fifth letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John’s reply :,)

Dear Roger,

I'll take your word regarding how you said you sound more proper in letters. I am very proud, don't you worry. I do too, I suppose. I guess other people have to be the judge of that, though.

and 'anche se sarebbe molto divertente' means 'although it would be a lot of fun'. So maybe I should write you a letter in italian? It would give you some translation work over a couple days though :p

And Prosecco! You're right, that's so girly of you. Mind you, in your picture you did sort of look like a girl... with that long blonde hair of yours. Mind you, I have long hair too so I can't really say anything... you make a very pretty girl, though. 

Sometimes I think about moving back to the UK... I mean I love Italy and my grandmama but, as i've said, it's very lonely out here. Weather's nicer, though. I do miss London terribly though. 

By the way, i'm going to send this letter through the special delivery again... just a heads up :) I've also put in a little picture of my grandmama's villa... it's nice, isn't it? Just thought you might like a little taste of Italy come through the mail. If you look at the bottom right, you can see me waving at the camera haha.

I look forward to getting your reply :)  
From,  
John.


	10. the sixth letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Double update! Because the chapters are small and because im on Christmas break, I can write a whole lot more! Woohoo!

Dear Roger,

I'm not entirely sure if my last letter made it to you or not. I did send it specially so i'm not sure what has happened. 

If it has made it to you and you don't feel like replying, that's totally fine. Don't feel obliged to! 

It has been wonderful speaking to you, even if so for only a short period of time. It sucks that we never got to talk more but hey, I won't force you into anything.

I wish you all the best for the future, Roger. You're a real cool guy. 

From,  
Deaky.

(PS if my last letter just didn't make it and got stuck in the post or something and this one did, plz reply. The thought of you not wanting to talk anymore had me shedding a few tears despite my message above. God i sound so annoying.)


	11. The seventh letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :,) babies.

Dear Deaky! Deaks! Deakster! 

Here I was, sitting in my little bedroom nearly in tears because I didn't hear from you for two weeks! Your other letter must have got lost in the mail or something because I received nothing. Damn :( Now i'll never get to read the words you wrote to me.

I would never just leave you unanswered, Deaks. If i was gonna run off, I woulda sent a letter saying 'hasta la vista, baby' or something ;)

As if i'd leave anyways! I keep a little crappy printed out photo of you (the one on your website) in the corner of my huge frame of an aston martin in my bedroom, so don't you worry about me leavin'.

Actually, with that in mind, maybe we should send each other pics of ourselves? All I have is that shitty little print out of you so I would really appreciate somethin bigger. You don't have to, though. I have. You should receive a gross picture of me taken by my friend Brian in my Kensington Market stall reading a newspaper. It's all I had on me, sorry. It's not the sexiest picture of me, I know, but eh. 

I'm so happy you didn't leave me hanging. I'm so happy I didn't leave you hanging either. Your a part of my life now, Deaks. Like one of my friends here in London. Your letters feel like a normal conversation between me and my friends here. I couldn't imagine not being pen pals with you Deaks. It's been great fun so far.

If this gets lost in the mail again then i'll... form a street riot. Promise ;)

From,  
Roger.


	12. the eighth letter

John reads the letter with a huge smile on his face. Thank God Roger didn't just bail on him. He wouldn't have known what to do if he had. 

As silly as it sounded, John considered Roger his only real friend. Yes, they had only communicated through a couple short letters and about two e-mails, but receiving those letters through the mail every week made John's heart speed up and his face to break out in a massive smile. 

John had never been so happy. After the first month of being on the pen pal website and getting no replies or any luck whatsoever, he was about to give up on the whole thing as a whole. But then came along Roger, one of the funniest and nicest people John had ever had the pleasure of knowing. They hadn't even met or anything and yet they were as close as ever.

And, on the plus side, Roger was very quite attractive. The photo that came along with Roger's recent letter had the younger boy feeling a certain type of way. In the photo, Roger was looking up at the camera as if he had been caught unexpectedly, a newspaper clutched in his hand, blonde locks falling over his eyes. He was very pretty. But John liked pretty boys, what could he say?   
Since Roger had sent him a photograph, it was only fair that he sent him one too. But John had no idea what photo to send him. He ruffled through his grandmother's most recent photo album and ended up pulling out a photograph of him in his white casual suit and white platform heels. He loved those platforms, they were hella cool. 

Next came the trickiest part; replying to Roger. 

He started to write. 

_Dear Roger,_

_I am ever so happy you didn't just bail on me! God knows what I would have done if you did. I'd be totally lost and totally bored, that's for sure._

_Thank you for your picture. I must say you are very pretty. You could pass off as a girl, actually ;) but that's a compliment, I swear! I like pretty boys anyways._

_You know what we should do? Call each other some time. That'd be fun. It'd be lovely to hear your voice. However, I still want to keep up this letter sending as well. It's very fun._

_And I feel the same way as you. I do consider you a friend, even if all we've done is write each other. It does feel like a proper conversation, I must say._

_I hope we continue talking forever. Okay, that's a bit of exaggeration, but you know what I mean? When I receive your letters it makes me all happy and warm inside, I can't explain it._

_Please never bail on me :,(_

_Hugs,_

_Deaky_


	13. the ninth letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i'm baaaaack! so sorry about the hiatus lovies, christmas was hectic! i also started school again and i have my exams pretty soon so i've been concentrating more on those haha.
> 
> anyways, on with the ninth letter!

Dear Deaks,

We should definitely definitely definitely call sometime... I have a feeling you have a lovely voice. Also, you must talk to me in Italian. You must.

It'll be costly to call all the way to Italy but it'll be totally worth it. I'm free pretty much anytime. 

And WHAT?! You saying I look like a girl? How very dare you Mr Deacon. I tell you know, that adorable long hair of yours makes you look like a girly too! ;) But don't worry. Makes you pretty, too.

I'm afraid i'm going to have to cut this letter a bit short. Freddie is stood outside my house screaming at me to hurry up. It's market day today. 

I look forward to your next letter. Always.

Lots of hugs,

Roger.

Ps. Phone me whenever :)  
 _+7266 284742_


	14. the first telephone call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Roger’s first telephone call. It’s short and sweet, but just perfect for our little beginner lovebirds.
> 
> there’s some italian *and* french in this folks! all translations are in the end notes :)

John looked down at the letter with wide eyes. Every single part of him wanted to call up his new found friend, but the nerves were eating away at him the longer he scanned his eyes along the line of numbers Roger attached to the end of the letter.

"Nonna?" He called out from the kitchen. "How expensive are phone calls to England?"

John's grandmother strolled out of her bedroom and turned to face her blushing grandson. 

"Why do you ask, mio caro?" The woman in her early 60s answered.

John's grandmother, Norma, was a loving woman with thin gangly legs and a cheerful rosy smile. Her hair was turning white as each day passed signifying her age. John loved her endlessly and would always be eternally grateful for her love and affection. He could go to her for anything, there was no need to be ashamed. She even knew he was gay. 

_"Nonna, I'm so sorry."  
"What for, my love?"  
"I'm gay. I'm sorry."  
"Oh moi caro, I am so so proud of you."_

Of course there was more to that conversation but the fact that she didn't even bat an eyelid made John's anxiety melt away.

"I have a friend." John answered. "In England. He gave me his telephone number on his latest letter and I was just wondering if it would cost you a lot?"

His nonna Norma nodded her head slowly with a knowing look upon her round face. 

"Aha." She finally said. "Is this friend just a friend or...?"

"Nonna!" John gasped with a dazzling smile. "Of course he's just a friend!"

"You like him though, don't you, topolino?" 

There was no point in lying to his nonna. She knew everything. She was a very smart lady, nothing could get past her.

John didn't even know what he felt for Roger. It was crazy, really. After only a short amount of letters and John already found himself falling deeper and deeper into the hole that was Roger. He was gradually become infatuated with the blonde and the thought of hearing his voice instead of just seeing his written words made John's heart speed up just a tad.

And so, he answered. "I don't know. He's lovely, nonna, he really is. But we've only exchanged a few letters, it's too soon to like him."

"Nonsense!" The elder woman cried. "I fell in love with your nonno the moment I laid eyes on him in that little cramped café." 

John chuckled. He had never met his nonno. He had died before he was born. 

"Was nonno handsome?" John wondered, and the dreamy look in his grandmother's eyes answered it for him.

"Oh, yes. He was gorgeous, your lovely nonno. Is your friend handsome, dear?"

John flushed and nodded bashfully. "Yes." Norma laughed and wrapped her arm around her grandson's shoulders. "We sent each other pictures of ourselves. He is very pretty."

The two of them stood in a soft embrace for a while, Norma thinking of James, her late husband, and John thinking of Roger. The Roger he was supposed to call.

"Calls to the UK cost around €5 per hour, not that expensive my love. Go call him." 

And so he did.

"Hello, is this Roger?" 

When John had finally built up the courage to phone up the blonde beauty, it was almost three hours after his chat with his nonna. 

"Yes, speaking. Who's this?" The voice on the other end of the line replied. It was husky and sexy and John felt his heart speed up.

"Roger... hi...it's John. John Deacon? We write letters to each other.. you might have forgotten me so..." 

"John?! Is that you? Oh my God, hi! Of course I haven't forgotten you, don't be silly."

The youngest could have cried when Roger told him that he hadn't been faded from memory.

"What time is it there? I'm so sorry if i've called you at like 3am or something."

"Nope, don't worry. It's half eight in the evening. H-how are you?"

John could hear the blonde's breathing down the other end of the line and he almost lost himself in it. It could serve as a lullaby. Ever so relaxing.

"I'm good, i'm good. I can't believe it's you. You have a voice!"

Roger chuckled and John's heart somersaulted.  
"Yes, I do indeed have a voice. You do too, by the sounds of it. It's just as lovely as I thought it would be."

John's cheeks turned a vicious red and John could only hope that he had made Roger blush on occasion, too.

The two friends chatted for almost five hours that day. Until it was 1am for Roger and 12am for John.

John realised that the call would be costing his nonna around €25 but he made a mental note to pay her back until the full amount would be back in her pocket.

"Talk Italian to me, Deaks." Roger finally came out with, and John giggled because he knew it was coming.

" _va bene, bambino_." _It's fine_ , John thought. _He won't know what it means._

"Oh damn." Roger breathed, a slight laugh present. "What does that mean?"

"It just means 'okay'." John replied, a knowing smirk on his face. When had he become so daring?

"Do more." Roger almost dared him.

"Oh, okay, well... um... mi piace la tua voce." 

"And what does that mean?" The blonde asked once again. 

"It just means 'I like your voice'. Which I do. I like your voice."

Roger let out a bashful chuckle and John noticed he started to breathe a little heavier.

"I used to learn French at school." Roger told John. "I still remember little bits. Not much."

Oh, now John was intrigued.

"Speak French to me! It's only fair."

" _Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?_ "

John let out a loud belly laugh and a gasp. "You arse! Even I know what that means!"

Roger smiled along with John. "I'm practically multi lingual!" He exaggerated. John rolled around on his bed in delight. Never had he felt so at peace with a friend. Never had he had this much fun with a friend before. It was exciting and new, and John loved it.

John decided to play it safe and not answer Roger's french question.

"It's late." John whispered into the receiver. He could almost feel Roger nod and agree with him.

"Before you go, I want to do something really really cheesy."

John braced himself. "Go on then, I can't wait." He replied, his voice laced delicately with sarcasm.

"Go to a window and look at the moon."

John did as he was told. He crawled to the other side of the bed and rested his elbows on the window ledge, peering up into the Italian night sky, right at the magnificent bright star.

"I'm looking."

"So am I. We're looking at the same moon." 

John's breath hitched at the beautiful remark. It was crazy. They were in totally different countries yet staring at the same moon at the same time.

"That's horribly cheesy, Rog." John teased.

"Oh, I know! I just thought it'd be sweet... I don't know, it doesn't mat-"

John cut the stuttering blonde off. "No. It's incredibly sweet. You're incredibly sweet. Thank you."

Roger blushed. As did John. But they both weren't aware of that.

"We need to sleep." John yawned with a giggle.

Roger sighed yet agreed. "We do."

John held the phone close to his ear, wanting to hear every little thing Roger was doing.

"Can we call again soon? Please?" John didn't want to sound desperate but.. he was.

"Of course! 100%. Tonight has been wonderful, Deaks. Thank you."

"When would you like to phone again?"

"Is tomorrow morning too soon?"

John gulped, his chest aching with happiness.  
"Nope. Not too soon at all." He sighed. "I'll see you again in a couple hours then?" 

"Yes. Goodnight, John."

"Goodnight Roger."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **nonna** : ‘grandmother/nanny’
> 
>  **mio caro** : ‘my darling’
> 
>  **topolino** : ‘baby mouse’
> 
>  **va bene bambino** : ‘okay baby’
> 
>  **voulez-vous coucher avec moi?** : ‘do you want to sleep with me?


	15. the second telephone call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> short and sweet!

It was 7 o'clock in the morning when the telephone rang. The loud chiming sounded all throughout the house and it even managed to bring John out from his slumber. Maybe that was because he knew exactly who was on the other end of the line.

"Good morning sleepy head! I woke you, didn't I?" Roger's gruff yet adorably tired voice spoke out from the phone. John smiled shyly.

"Yes, you did. I was having a lovely dream, too." He admitted, brushing some of his knotted hair out from his face. It was bordering on greasy and he was to hop straight into the shower after his and Roger's phone call.

"Ooh, what about? Was I in it?" Roger flirted, but John didn't pick up on the flirtatious manner. 

"No, actually. My nonno was in it, though."

He almost heard Roger's eyebrow raise in confusion. "Nonno?" He wondered.

"My grandfather. 'Nonno' just means grandfather. 'Nonna' is grandmother." 

"Ohh, that makes sense. What happened in it?"

John sat down in the chair that was situated in-front of the telephone, which was sat upon the small oak table. 

"I have the same dream almost every night." John stated. "It's just me and my nonno walking through the park not far from the house. He died before I was born." 

"It sounds beautiful. What does he look like?" Roger asked.

The youngest looked down at the floor with a hint of a frown on his face. "He's just faceless. I never met him so I have no idea what he looks like. Nonna doesn't have any pictures of him either." 

He twiddled with the phone wire around his pointer finger and looked at the pale yellow walls of the house. On the far wall there was a picture of him and his nonna around five years ago, standing in front of a huge apricot tree. His nonna always made the best apricot juice.

"Huh. He must have been handsome if he's your grandfather." _Is Roger flirting with me?_ John pondered. _Nah._

John decided not to answer the question and instead focused his eyes on the buttons on the blue telephone which sat before him.

"What's the weather like in London?" John decided to come out with.

Roger let out a sigh. "The usual. Rainy and cloudy. How's Crema?" 

John was surprised he remembered the small Italian village where he resided. "The usual. Blistering sun, zero clouds."

"God, you're lucky. I'd kill to have some sunshine right now."

"You should get on a plane. We could go swimming." John playfully added, smiling a toothy smile at the thought of Roger actually getting on a plane just to come visit him and go swimming in the lake.

"Believe me, i'm tempted. But it's market day... as usual." 

"Ahh," John answered. "I'll come to your market one day. I bet it's wild." 

The blonde chuckled. "Oh it is. Freddie comes in everyday with a hamper full of his old clothes. He once came in with lacy underwear!" 

John howled with laughter. "Where did he get those from?"

"God knows, but I think they were for men. They had a penis pouch." 

John squealed. "Roger! Stop!" He faked to gag, leaving Roger in hysterics.

"As much as i'd love to keep talking to you and as much as i'd _love_ to hear that voice forever, I must go. Gotta take a shower." 

"Ah, me too. Will you send me a letter?" John wondered.

"Of course I will. Should be on it's way as we speak."


	16. the tenth letter

Dear Deaks,

I'm sorry i've been crappy with the whole letter thing lately. College has been kicking my ass. I'm tempted to drop out of my current course and kick start biology. At least i'm fairly decent at Bio. 

I understand how our telephone calls are hella costy but I hope we get to call again soon. I miss your voice, I guess. I'm getting soppy again, aren't I? My mum was very soppy.. I guess it's in my genes ;)

Honestly, it's coming to the point where i'm so desperate to hear you again that i'm willing to pay for your telephone bills. Tell your nonna I said hi, by the way! She sounds like a cool gal.

Actually, that isn't a bad idea.

You shall see that I have enclosed a sum of €20 for our next telephone bill. Give it to your nonna. I even had to get my pounds exchanged and stuff so don't even bother sending it back! My treat. Call me whenever. I'll be waiting.

I hope to hear your lovely voice soon,

Rog x


	17. the third telephone call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is pretty much the ‘big’ chapter??? but it seems so rushed and im not really proud of it but eh

_Dear Rog,_

_Roger! Bloody hell! I can't take your money! €20?!?! I cannot stand you sometimes!_

_Nonna says thank you :)_

_So do I. Thank you._

John dialled the ever so familiar telephone number and listened to the ringing of the phone line. On the third ring, somebody picked up.

"Hello? Taylor and Mercury residence, darling." A unfamiliar voice sounded.

"Uh, hello. Is Roger there?" John asked, biting his lip and twiddling his fingers on his lap.

"Yes, he's in the other room. May I ask who's calling?" The voice wondered.

"It's John... tell him it's Deaks."

There was no reply on the other end except from the faint noises of footsteps walking across a room. And then, a familiar voice sounded out.

"Deaks! How are you, m'love?" Roger cried, a broad smile appearing on his face. Freddie looked at his friend with a suspicious gaze and a smirk.

"Roger! How dare you!" 

"What have I done _now?_ " The blonde teased, chewing on the end of his pen.

"€20?! I can't take your money! Please. You're too sweet." John stressed.

"Oh don't worry about it. It's hardly a million. Plus it means we get to talk more, doesn't it?" He smiled.

"Yes.. yes, it does. Nonna was very happy. I just wrote a small letter to you actually. I just said to you what the letter says though so there's no point in sending it now, I guess."

"No! Send it at once! The more letters off of you, the better."

Roger met Freddie's eyes and the older boy made a circle with his thumb and pointer finger and stuck his opposite pointer finger through it. Roger flipped him off.

Roger got up and moved into his bedroom for a bit more privacy. It didn't help to be talking to John whilst Freddie was making sex gestures right at him. Now they were alone at last.

"Sorry about the ruckus, had to go into my bedroom to avoid Fred." 

"Oh, was that Freddie who picked up the phone?"

"It sure was." Roger nodded. "He was distracting me so I had to get away." 

John giggled. "What was he doing?"

"Just making sex gestures at me whilst I was talking to you." The blonde admitted, earning a small gasp from the younger boy.

"Oh." John breathed. "Good you got away then, I s'pose."

"Yeah." Roger sighed. 

There was a brief moments silence between the two boys, both lost in their thoughts.

John knew he liked Roger. He wasn't that oblivious. Who didn't like Roger? _Well_ , his inner voice said, _nobody likes him as much as you like him._ John reasoned with that.

And Roger knew that _he_ liked _John_ . They were both incredibly aware of their feelings but both were terrified of admitting them. They hadn't even met each other. It would be absurd.

_Even if John did like me back, it would be impossible to be with him. He lived 842 miles away! A 14 hour and 56 minute drive! A 252 hour walk!_ Roger would have walked if it was a last resort, though.

"Why don't you come to Kensington one day?" Roger finally asked. John sighed.

"You don't know how much i'd love to come, Rog... it's just the money. Me and nonna don't have the finances. If we did, i'd be on a plane in a heartbeat."

Roger's heart soared at that. "I would too. I'm skint too, though." He frowned.

Both of them wanted to see each other desperately. John just wanted to take him in his arms and huggle him for hours on end. 

Their feelings towards each other had come all at once in the beat of an eye. They weren't expecting it at all. Maybe their feelings were always there but hadn't quite made it to the surface until recently? Neither of them knew but frankly, neither of them minded.

"John, can I say something?" Roger spat out without thinking.

"Of course, anything. Go for it." John's breath hitched. Was this it?

"Well, promise not to be weirded out? I mean, you can end the call if you want but just... don't freak out ple-"

"Roger just spit it out." 

Roger took in a deep breath and prepared himself. He closed his eyes and took a handful of his bed duvet, squeezing it hard in his fist. 

"I like you, Deaks. Like I _like_ you. You know?" 

There wasn't an answer for a long time and Roger thought he had blew it. Blew their entire friendship into smithereens in the space of three, maybe four seconds.

"You can just end the call if you like, you don't have to say anything if you don't want to or if you don't feel the same way."

There was still no reply and Roger had to force himself to keep in the tears that were building up and threatening to spill onto his cheeks.

"Um, okay, Deaks, i'm gonna go. I'm sor-"

"I like you too, Rog. Sorry, I was in shock a bit. I'm sorry, please don't hang up." 

Roger froze in his spot with his mouth wide open. "You do?" 

"Yeah." John chuckled. "I do, as it goes." He teased.

"Okay." Roger blushed so hard his face looked like it was about to explode. "Well. That's good then, isn't it?"

"I guess it is, yeah." John replied, biting his lip. He looked up at his calendar on the wall. February 21st. Mark the date! 

"Write to me?" Roger asked shyly.

"Of course I will, _il mio tesoro._ " 

_**il mio tesoro**_ \- my treasure/darling 

:,) this seems so so rushed im so sorry


	18. the eleventh letter

Dear Rog,

I don't really know what to start off with because of our last conversation. Was it just a 'in the moment' type of thing? Or did you mean it? Because if you meant it then I meant it to. But if you didn't then.. i didn't either.

Putting that to the side for a second, I just wanted to say that my nonna has fell a bit sick over the past day and considering i'm the only one here living with her, i'm going to have to be running around, taking care of her. So if my replies are late i'm so sorry, i'm not ignoring you, I promise! I would never!

I was walking around the local market the other day and I saw this gorgeous jacket that reminded me just of you. So I got it. And it should have come in the mail with this letter... and, if not, i've attached a picture so we can mourn its loss together. I really hope you like it. I love the black velvety feel. 

I must cut this letter a tad shorter because it's nearly my nonna's medication time. I'm in charge of all that now and it's incredibly stressful. Last night I was up at 2 making a massive chart to stick on the kitchen wall so I remember when and what time nonna has to take her meds. So, if you fall sick, just call me and i'll be right over with me' chart ;)

Anyways, yes, I must go. Sorry! I'll send you a longer letter next time I promise!

Hugs,  
Deaks x


	19. the twelfth letter

Dear Deaky,

Oh God! What’s up with nonna? Is she okay? Will she be okay? I’m so sorry, Deaks. I’m sending all my love and hugs, always. I hope she feels better soon soon soon. 

And don’t worry, you don’t have to apologise if you take more time to reply. I completely understand. Don’t over stress yourself though! <3

And OH MY GOD DEAKY. That jacket is fucking gorgeous, i’m wearing it right now, as I am writing this. I HAVE to keep this hidden from Freddie otherwise he WILL steal it. God, im in love. It feels so smooth. Thank you so so much, Deaks. Really. Thank you. I’ll wear it everyday!

A kitchen wall medication schedule? Damn, the infirmary should hire you already. You as a doctor is a pretty hot thought. Oh damn, it really is. Maybe I should send you a doctors coat and make you wear it and send a pic to me? ;) 

I really hope your nonna is okay. She’ll pull through in no time. I’ve never met her (obviously) but she sounds like a badass. Tell her I send love. Well, she probably doesn’t even know who I am but it’s the thought that counts.

Hugs,  
Rog x

PS. It wasn’t just an ‘in the moment’ thing. At least not for me. I know it’s absurd considering we live in completely different countries, but I think it would be interesting to see how this would play out.  
Send me your thoughts.   
Love,  
Rog x

I signed this letter twice. Oops. Oh well.


	20. the thirteenth letter

Dear Roger,

It’s been about two weeks since I read your most recent letter and I cannot apologise enough. Nonna isn’t really doing any better and i’ve been running errands every hour of every day. I have had almost no time to write you back until now. I’m sorry, _mio caro._

You are impossibly sweet in every letter you send and i’m honestly not sure how you do it. I told nonna you send your love and she sends hers back! :) She called you a sweetheart and I have to agree. 

I went to the doctors with her three days ago and they said it’s nothing more than a common cold, but since she’s elderly it’s hit her quite hard. I don’t think they’re right, though. I have to physically help her out of bed every morning and she throws up almost every hour. I’m sorry, that was too much information. You didn’t need to know that.

I’m not usually this tricky or this stressed, I promise. I’m also writing this incredibly fast so I can get back to nonna, so please excuse the almost unreadable handwriting.

Thank you for your support, Rog. Honestly, it means the world to me. The thought of seeing more of your letters come through the door are the only thing keeping me sane. I can’t blame nonna, though. 

I’m so glad you liked the jacket! And i’m so glad it made its way to you! It feels just wonderful, doesn’t it? I swear I spent a good three hours just stroking it. 

I’m not sure what to say to your dirty doctor kink. Deciding wether or not I _should_ send that desired picture of yours. Will I willingly go out and buy a doctors coat just to send you a picture of me in it? Time will tell. Mind you, I wouldn’t mind seeing you in a doctors coat, too. Oh God, I think I might have a sexy doctor kink too. What have you done to me? You’re such a bad influence. 

Anyway, on to the more important stuff. I think we maybe need to talk about it on the phone, though. Because oh God, Roger, I really do like you. And I know it’s absurd and I know long distance relationships and stuff like that are _so hard_ , but if you’re willing to try, then so am I. You make me feel ways nobody has ever made me feel before and it’s quite scary. But a good scary.

I’ll try to respond to you much quicker next time. If the doctors were right, nonna should be fine in no time.

Love,  
Deaky x


	21. the fourteenth letter

Dear Deaks, _mio caro_ (I looked it up in an Italian dictionary! Wahey!

I remember when my nan had a bug that sounds similar to nonna's and she pulled through just fine. She drove my mum up the wall as well, so maybe they're the same thing. She got over it in about a month or so, so don't stress.

But, I want these letters to kind of be your getaway from the whole caring for your nonna thing, so it's now my job to keep you laughing and entertained. :)

Going back to the doctor thing, it's hot right?! And yes, I realise i'm a bad influence but I quite like the thought of tainting your innocence a little bit ;)

We definitely should talk on the phone again. I love hearing your voice. I also love your accent. its like a mix of italian and british and it kinda gets me goin, not gonna lie. i still think you should send me a full letter in italian. with the translation. obviously.

But anyways, yes, we should talk again. I’ll even pay again! Admittedly i’m skint, actually, but let’s ignore that factor. Me and Freddie had to have bread soup for dinner yesterday. Bread. Soup. It sounds just as vile as it tastes. It was all beige and clumpy and sticky. I probably didn’t cook it right but that’s not the point. Plus it came as POWDER. What soup comes as powder? Do you have powder soup in Italy? Nah, I bet you have all sorts of cool stuff like... pasta. And apricots. I like apricots. 

I best be off now. Its coming up 7pm and Freddie’s about to serve up tea. I think it’s just ham sandwiches tonight. Well, it’s better than nothing.

I hope your nonna recovers soon! I send my love.

Luv,  
Rog x


	22. the fifteenth letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a sort of filler chapter!  
> the chapters are super short as of now, i realise, but the dramatic part of the story will pick up sooner or later!
> 
> thank you darlings for being so patient and so kind with your words. im glad there are some who are enjoying my storyyy<3

Dear Rog,

Nonna isn't really getting that much better. She's not getting worse though, which is a good sign. She's pretty much stayed the exact same. Throwing up, not eating, pale. I hope she gets well soon. I've made three trips to the pharmacy in four days. She's in pain constantly. I don't know what to do.

Did you get an Italian dictionary from the library or did you buy one? Either way, that's the sweetest thing i've ever heard. _sei un tesoro._ Look that one up ;).

I know you've told me to stop constantly apologising many times before, but I do want to apologise if my messages seem blunt or super short in the next coming days. I'm just so stressed. And worried. You're the only thing keeping my going. You and my nonna, of course.

I wish dad was here. He'd know what to do.

Please, _mio caro_ , don't send any more money. You need food. Proper food. That bread soup or whatever sounds like absolute shit. You should try tiramisu. My mouth is watering just at the thought.

I really must go now. Nonna is calling in from the other room and I really can't leave her unattended alone. Gosh, i'm so sorry. I'm such a bore.

Thank you for everything. I think about you everyday. I probably dream about you, too, but my memory is getting worse by the minute.

Already said this, but thank you.  
Hugs,  
Deaky xx

_**sei un tesoro**_ \- you’re a sweetheart


	23. the sixteenth letter

Deaks,

I attached a photo of me in one of my friend Brian's lab coats (he's a science nerd),which I think passes off as a doctors coat, to cheer you up a little. I tried to take more serious and sexy photos but I just looked like a dick, so I ended up pulling a face. Voila. You're welcome. Hopefully it makes you smile :)

You mustn't keep apologising for any slow replies. I get it. I understand. You're way stronger than me. I find it inspirational that you're over there, all on your own, caring for your sick grandma. You're too admirable for your own good! :,) 

PS I was rushed to A&E by Freddie last night because I broke my foot. Well, we thought I did. Just a fracture actually, but i've been all casted up. Now I can't move from the living room sofa and i've never been so bored in my life. 

How did I fracture my foot, you ask? Well, me and Freddie were doing a little experiment in Freddie's parents house. We got a piece of cardboard and I sat on it and rode it down the stairs. So fun (apart from the breaking my foot bit. That wasn't fun).

Also, Brian came around this morning to pay his respects to my foot and apparently I fell asleep and starting saying your name in my sleep. I don't remember having a dream about you but it 'musta happened! How cute is that?!?!

Anyways, i'm sorry for this stupidly boring letter. I'm actually half awake at the moment so I sorta have an excuse. 

I think about you everyday.

Hugs,  
Rog x


	24. five weeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Double update bc i feel bad for not updating in a couple days!
> 
> This is the big one though! Buckle up.

When John didn't reply for around two weeks, Roger started to get worried. However, he didn't let himself get overstressed because he expected slow replies from John at the moment. It was just strange to not be holding one of the younger boy's letters in his hands right now.

"What's got you so miserable?" Freddie said, kicking his legs up onto Roger's lap whilst his head was leaning on Brian's thighs. 

Roger shook his head. "Nah, it's nothing. Just a bit bored, 'is all." 

Freddie eyed his best friend but continued chewing his strawberry bubblegum and averted his eyes to the television across the room.

"Top of the Pops has become so shit lately." Freddie announced out of the blue, receiving agreeing grunt from Roger and Brian. "I don't even know who these guys are?" He furrowed his brows.

"I've never seen them before either? Have you, Rog?" Brian turned to look at his blonde friend, who seemed totally away with the fairies.

"What? Oh. No, never heard of 'em." 

Freddie raised himself from Brian's lap and looked straight into Roger's eyes. He stared for a good thirty seconds before he came to a conclusion.

"John hasn't written you back, has he?" 

Roger gulped. "How did you know?" 

Freddie put back a strand of his blonde hair behind his ear and tutted. "I can read you like a book, blondie. Have you two had a lover's tiff?" He winked.

Roger just set his eyes on the floor and began twiddling his thumbs. "No. His grandma's sick. I'm just being selfish, though, because he told me his replies were going to be shitty yet i'm still acting like a brat."

Freddie tilted his head up by his chin. "Don't be silly. You're not a brat. You just miss him, and that's perfectly understandable. You two have been writing to each other non bloody stop!"

Roger chuckled with a blush. 

"Is this the jacket he got you?" The elder boy asked, to which he received a nod.

"It is. It's great, 'innit?" 

Freddie nodded. "It feels lovely! What is it, velvet?" He stroked his fingers across the jacket, eyeing up the intricate detailing.

"Dunno, something like that, I think." Roger shrugged and looked back at the TV. 

"He got you a jacket?" Brian finally spoke up, looking at how Roger was feeling the material against his fingertips. 

"Yeah. He saw it in his local market and said it reminded me of him, so..." the blonde couldn't help but blush when the conversation surrounded his adorable pen pal.

"Where does he live again?" 

Roger cracked a smile. "Italy."

Brian replied with a silent gasp and nodded slowly. "Hm. Cool."

*

When John hadn't replied for four weeks, that's when Roger began to get really worried. He contemplating writing to John again or even calling him, but he knew better than to disturb. At the moment, Roger wasn't a priority. His nonna was, and Roger had to understand that.

However, as days went by with no letter coming through the mail, Roger's fingers started to itch whilst he thought about the telephone. _He was just one phone call away._

But he always managed to stop himself. He didn't want to be a nuisance. So instead, he busied himself with his college work. Writing an essay on the differences between lymphocytes and phagocytes. 

It was 4:38pm when Freddie knocked on his bedroom door.

"Still no reply?" This was the last thing Roger wanted to talk about, but he couldn't just shoo away his friend.

He shook his head, not tearing his eyes away from the piece of paper in front of him. "It's fine though. He's taking care of his nonna."

"Is nonna Italian for 'grandmother'?" Freddie wondered, plopping himself down on the spare chair next to Roger's desk, which was being aluminised by a lamp which had just recently had a bulb change. 

Roger nodded, still writing sentence after sentence about the role of lymphocytes. 

"When's this due?" Freddie nodded towards his essay.

"Thursday". It was Tuesday.

"Ah." Freddie whispered. "I'll leave you to it then, dear." 

Roger smiled at his friend and nodded in thanks. He still felt as though he should say it out loud, though.

"Thanks Freddie." 

His best friend just waved his hand as if to say 'don't be silly, darling'.

Just as he walked out of the blonde's room, he turned around. He had never seen his best friend so melancholy over anybody before. Sure, he had his fair share of girlfriends over the years and mayhaps a handful of boyfriends, but even through his many breakups he hadn't seemed this sad.

"Y'no Rog," Freddie started. "He'll reply to you soon. There's no way he's going to be buying you gorgeous jackets that 'remind you of him' one moment and then just ignoring you the next." 

"Give him time, darling. His nonna's probably just sicker than he originally thought."

Roger nodded with some tears in his eyes. He didn't really want to be seen crying over a boy so he turned back around quickly, before any tears fell.

As Freddie left the room he only had one thing on his mind. 

John better reply soon before Roger's left totally heartbroken.

*

Another week went by and Roger couldn't stand it any longer. He gave up and reached for the telephone.

It rang six times before it went silent, nobody having picked up.

And so Roger tried again. 

No such luck the second time, either.

Roger rang for the third and final time. One ring, two ring, three ring, four ring. Silence.

"Hello?" A tired voice answered the telephone. It was John. 

Oh how Roger was happy to hear his wonderful voice once again. There was just one thing wrong. He sounded so incredibly tired. Like he just woke up. His voice was all gravelly and if they were in a different situation, Roger would have thought it to be sexy, but now he couldn't help but just be worried.

"John? Is that you?" The blonde whispered into the receiver.

"Roger?" John answered before getting cut off by a cough. "Why are you calling?" 

Roger tried so hard not to well up at that. _I'm calling because i'm worried about you. Im worried about you, your nonna, everything. I'm also calling because not hearing from you in five weeks was driving me insane and i've come to the conclusion that I physically cannot stay sane if I don't have any sort of contact with you over a week._

"I was just... um..." Roger didn't know what to say. He figured he should just tell the truth. "I'm calling because i'm worried about you. And your nonna." 

There was no reply from John's end.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called. It's just you haven't wrote to me in a bit over five weeks and I honestly thought something.. uhm, terrible happened to... to you, and I just wanted to um... check? But you answered so you're okay. That's good." Roger let out a sigh. "I'll let you go now."

"No, Roger wait!" John called out before Roger could hang up.

"I'm sorry, Rog. I'm so sorry. I got your last letter and I got half-way through writing a reply before... everything has just fell apart, I guess." He let out a laugh at the end but there was not a hint of humour in it.

"Tell me. What's wrong, Deaks?" Roger was near enough shaking by now. He just wanted to wrap his skinny, bony arms around John and hold onto him forever.

"It's nonna." He whispered. "Breast cancer. She was diagnosed three weeks ago."

Roger was stunned into silence. He didn't know what to say. He never even met this women and yet he found himself tearing up, letting a teardrop fall down his cheek slowly. 

"I'm sorry, _mio caro_. I was going to write, I was. I just... I couldn't. Every time i'd pick up the pen i'd just start crying." John admitted. "I haven't shaved in three weeks, I haven't showered in a week and a half. I don't know what to do." Now John was crying, and Roger's heart almost split in two.

"John. I don't know what to say. I'm so fucking sorry. I wish I could hold you right now." He heard John sniff on the end of the line and he could almost see him, squeezing his eyes shut, tears flowing down his face. 

"Don't cry, love. It'll all be okay. I've never met your nonna but from what i've heard, she sounds like a fucking badass. She'll get through it, Deaks. She will. Don't cry, please." 

Roger wasn't really that good at comforting people when they were going through terrible, terrible things, but at the moment, he was just spewing words of comfort to John in attempt to do anything to calm the boy down.

"Do you promise me, Rog? Promise she'll be okay?"

And now Roger was stuck. He knew he couldn't promise anything. He knew that if he _did_ promise that nonna would be okay and she just couldn't fight near the end... John would be even more distraught.

"Listen to me Johnny." Roger spoke. "You know I can't promise you that. And even if I did, and God, I so want to, it wouldn't be fair to you. But I can promise that _you'll_ be okay, Deaks. You will. It doesn't feel like it now and maybe it never will, but you'll be just fine. I'm here. I'll always be here, Johnny."

That was all that Roger could offer right now. And John knew that.

Neither of them could stop the tears from overflowing their eyes. They both just wanted to be together. They wanted to hold each other until their tears dried, until the end of time.  
Roger wanted to scream a massive 'fuck you!' to the world for making them live 843 miles away from each other.

"She's just..." John started, but was interrupted with another cough. Roger could almost feel his pain. Deaky didn't deserve any of this. Neither did his nonna.

"She's just so _sick_ , Rog. And i'm the only one here. I'm the only person here that can take care of her at home, and it's so _tiring_. I sound like a fucking terrible human being for whining." He sobbed.

Roger shook his head and clutched the phone closer to his ear. "No. No you don't Deaks. Don't say that. It's totally understandable. It must be so fucking tiring and you are bloody incredible for looking after her all on your own. You know how brave you are, right?"

John didn't answer and so Roger took it upon himself to make John believe that he was fucking incredible.

"John, precious John." He started. "You are so so courageous. You're nineteen years of age and you're a full time carer for your grandmother. That's gotta take some balls. You're the _only_ one there supporting her and getting her through the week. What you're doing is so inspirational. Bloody hell, I couldn't do it! I honestly don't know how you're holding it together, and it may feel like you're not, but my _God_ , you're much calmer than i'd ever be."

John cracked a smile at Roger's little speech and sniffled. "Thank you Rog. You mean the world to me." 

The blonde's heart skipped a beat at that. But he of course felt the same. "You mean the entire _universe_ to me, Deaks. I wish I could be with you there right now. I feel like we're both in need of bone-crushing hugs."

John giggled and wiped away the tears, his cheeks now incredibly wet. 

"Definitely. Shall we look up at the moon again?"

Roger hadn't even realised it was nighttime. 

"Mhm." He replied, shuffling over to his bedroom window, gazing up at the gorgeous night sky.

The moon was big and round. It seemed much closer than it usually was and it lit up the night sky perfectly. 

"It's breathtaking. Do you see it, Rog? It looks so big. Do you see it?" John asked in a whisper.

"I see it, Johnny." He replied in the same low volume. "I see it."

#

Four days later, a letter came through Roger's mail box.

_Rog,_

_Since the unfinished letter I was supposed to send to you a mere five weeks ago was an absolute mess, i'm writing a new one._

_This is going to sound incredibly cliché but there aren't really enough words in the english language for me to thank you enough. Thank you for fucking_ everything. _Without you, I wouldn't be bloody surviving, that's for sure._

_Not being able to meet you in person or hug you or tell you these things face to face is killing me inside. I wish I had never moved to Italy in the first place. I wish I was so much closer to you. I feel so lonely here. If it weren't for my nonna i'd be going insane in this little villa._

_And yet even though we haven't met, you're the closest friend i've ever had. Maybe the only friend. Throughout high school I was bullied relentlessly and never really had any friends. But it's okay, because I have you now._

_But the thing is, Rog. Roger._ Roggie. ;)  
_I don't know if I want to be friends. Or best friends. I want to be so much more but I just don't know how to word it._

_And don't say that i'm just saying this because i'm vulnerable at the moment. Because i'm going through unimaginable shit. Because I want you. I want you so bad, and I have done for weeks._

_I don't just want to hug you and hold you. I want to do those as well as kiss you, whisper sweet nothings in you ear, tell you how much I adore you. I want to cook dinner for you, and as weird as that sounds, I just want to. I want to do all sorts of couple-y stuff with you. I want to hold your hand and never let go, even if our palms get all sweaty and stuff._

_It's really hard to explain. Because we've just had a handful of letters and telephone calls and yet I feel so strongly about you. It's insane. I've never felt like this before in my entire life._

_But the thing is, even if you do feel the same way, and even if we do continue to send lovey dovey letters to each other, it'll just become so painful because we live in completely different countries. You're 843 miles away from me. Your lips are 843 miles away from mine and I hate it._

_If you don't feel the same way then i'm sorry. I was so hesitant in sending this letter because having you just as a friend is better than not having you at all. Even if you do find this letter disgusting... I can't lose you. I'd go mad._

_Yours,  
Deaky_


	25. philosophy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi darlings!  
> So sorry for the 5 day delay! My GCSE’s are in around 3-4 months and revision is eating me up inside.
> 
> Hope you enjoy this one!

Roger stared at the letter in complete disbelief. His eyes were watering drastically and he was frozen to the spot. He needed to find a chair before he actually collapsed with all the emotion he was currently feeling.

He made his way onto the soft sofa in the middle of the living room with John's letter clutched tightly in his fist. He was going to have to read it a couple more times to actually believe it was real.

_I don't just want to hug you and hold you. I want to do those as well as kiss you, whisper sweet nothings in you ear, tell you how much I adore you._

The blonde's heart starting racing what felt like 2,000 miles a minute and a bright pink blush crept up onto his face. He hadn't even realised he was crying before one hot tear hit the corner of John's letter. John's letter which confirmed he felt the same way Roger did. The tear fell onto the paper and slid down over John's beautiful scribbly handwriting and a huge grin overtook Roger's face. God, he felt so good.

He wanted to kiss John, too. He wanted to envelope him into the softest bear hug ever and kiss his rosy cheeks and peck the tip of his long nose. He wanted to breathe the same air as him but it was so bloody hard. He wanted, no _needed_ , to be close to him right now. He was tempted to book a ticket to Italy right at that second before he was sadly reminded he had a total of £9.55 in his pocket. 

He read the letter again. Of course he did. He knew he'd end up reading his words on a daily basis. 

The cruel reminder of the fact they were 843 miles apart was killing him inside. He'd do anything to be next to John. He'd give everything just to be in the same bloody _time zone_ as him. 

The blonde got up from his seat, letter still in hand, and walked into his bedroom across the little hallway. He pushed the door open and went straight for the shelf on top of his bedside table. There he found his favourite picture in the world. John. _His_ John, smiling into the camera with the cheesiest grin possible.

He didn't fail to notice how John signed off in his letter either.

_Yours,  
Deaky _

_Mine._

Roger decided to staple the picture of John to the letter, fold it up and placed it into the back of the other picture of John he had. The framed image which resided on his shitty little table. 

How did he end up this lucky? A couple weeks ago Freddie and Brian struggled to convince Roger to get a pen pal and he remembered how he thought that the only people who signed up to have a pen pal were just 'acne freaks looking for a shag because they don't have a social life'... he'd never imagined he'd meet the kindest and most beautiful boy on the site. His beautiful John.

Ever since writing to John, Roger hadn't even used a computer. Well, the computer was actually Brian's but he'd honestly forgot they even existed. Exchanging letters was just more therapeutic and... romantic? He found it much more authentic, which is something he never thought he'd say. Plus, he got to see John's adorable handwriting and Roger would rather cut off his own hand than not be able to see his words written down on crumpled paper.

The front door suddenly opened and closed again, signifying Freddie's entrance.  
"I'm home, darling." The older boy called out and Roger responded with a discreet hello.

Freddie stood in the doorway of Roger's bedroom and darted his eyes around the space before they settled on his little oak bedside table.

"Ooh, what's this?" He asked, walking over to pick up the frame which held a picture of a grinning John. "Loverboy?" Freddie wondered.

Roger just nodded. "Mhm. His letter came through the mail today." The drummer smiled to himself, blushing.

"Let me see, dear! Oh please!" 

Roger shook his head. "No! It's none of your business." 

Freddie crouched down onto his knees and practically begged. "Oh please, Rog! You never give me any juicy details anymore. You're becoming a bit of a prude, actually. Haven't been out to the club with me for _ages_." The dark haired man whined.

"That's because the only reason why we went out was to pick up a shag. I don't want that anymore. I found John and i'm perfectly content with him." Roger scoffed.

Freddie remained silent and peered into his best friends eyes with a squint.

"What?" Roger asked, raising an eyebrow after Freddie hadn't uttered a word in a full two minutes. "Do I have something on my face?" The blonde touched his forehead and cheeks with his fingers, hoping to wipe anything off.

"You've fell in love with him, haven't you?" Freddie questioned, placing a delicate hand on the blonde's knee. 

Roger was going to deny it at first but he found no point. He didn't really fancy lying to his best friend either. He replied with a slow nod and looked down at Freddie's hand on his leg.

The older man's eyes then turned sad with empathy. He gripped Roger's leg a little tighter and sucked in a breath. "But honey..." he whispered with a frown. "He lives in Italy." 

Roger rolled his eyes. "You think I don't know that?"

"You know what I mean. I just don't want to see your heart get broken. Long distance relationships are very tricky to keep a hold of." 

Roger knew his friend wasn't trying to start an argument, but he couldn't help but feel the rage start to stir within him. He knew he got too angry at times and he had to remind himself to not flip out. At the end of the day, it would do neither of them any good. He forced himself to remain calm.

"Just because they don't work out for others, it doesn't mean it won't work out for us." The blonde argued. 

"You're right there, dear. But just.. be careful, okay? I would hate to see your heart get broken. I don't think i've ever seen you in love for _real_ , but this John has seemed to sway you." Freddie ran his hand through Roger's locks and sighed. "Just make sure you think it through before you go all out. Be rational." 

And with that, Freddie kissed him on the top of his head and strolled off to the kitchen to make them both lunch.

Freddie could become rather philosophical at times and it surprised Roger that his chaotic friend could be so... wise? But it definitely got him thinking about a few things. Roger went and sat at his table and retrieved a fresh piece of paper in his drawer. He picked up a ball point pen and thought about what he wanted to write.

He started out simple.

_Dear Deaky_

And now he was stuck.  
He obviously returned John's feelings but he just wasn't sure how to put it into words. Freddie's words also came to mind. What would happen after this? Would they have a relationship? But it would be so tricky... Roger wanted nothing more than to be with John but now that he thought about it... would it work?

Or would it be too hard? If it didn't work out, would it be too hard to let each other go? 

He didn't really want his mind to overflow with negative thoughts and outcomes though... whilst Freddie's... philosophy made sense, he wanted so much to ignore it and just be with John, no matter the price.

But it wasn't that easy.

_Dear Deaky_

_I've been sat at my desk for the past ten minutes thinking of what to write. How to reply to that beautiful letter you sent me.  
How could you think i'd fine it 'disgusting'? John, love, nothing about you could be disgusting._

Cheesy opener which didn't really make much sense but it'll do.

_There is no doubt whatsoever in me when I say I return your feelings. Completely. You don't want to know how many nights i've laid in my bed for hours on end thinking about you. Thinking about how it would feel to have you lying there next to me. God, it'd feel amazing. To be able to just turn over, wrap my arms around you and kiss the back of your neck._

_I wish it wasn't so hard. I wish you at least lived in the UK. It's such a pain in the ass. Why do you have to be so far away? As you said, 843 miles. That's bloody ridiculous! Maybe we should walk to each other and meet half way. In like France of something. ;)_

_Freddie talked to me earlier about it, too. Obviously I didn't show him your letter because it's none of his bloody business but he did make some sense._

_What comes after these letters, John? A relationship. You don't know how much I wish to call you mine but long-distance relationships are so tricky. If it didn't work out I honestly don't think I could take the heartbreak._

_I've never felt this way about anyone before, John, you must know that. You're the only one who had made my chest go all tingly when I see your letter come through the door. I find myself staring off into space thinking about you almost every second of the day. Thinking about how your skin would feel under my fingertips. I bet it's so soft. I want to kiss it all over._

_I tucked your letter into the back of the framed picture I have of you. Even if things don't work out and you don't wish to have a relationship, i'll still read it on a daily basis._

_We should talk more about this on the telephone._

_Yours,  
Rog x_

And that was that.

Before Roger slipped it through the letter box the next day, he pressed his lips to the envelope and crossed his fingers.


	26. the fourth telephone call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So sorry I haven’t updated loves! School work is a bitch!  
> Hope you enjoy<3

"Roger?"  
"Hello?"  
"It's John. Deaky."  
"Oh!"

It was 7pm on a Thursday evening when Roger received John's call. Although they had talked about having a phone call about their... situation over letter, Roger thought they would have planned it. But it seems John's came out of the blue.

"Sorry if I caught you at a bad time. This is pretty much the only hour i've got free this week, looking after Nonna and all... wanted to call you." The shaky voice on the other end of the line exclaimed.

Roger smiled softly to himself. "Even if you did catch me at a bad time I would have made time for you."

Good one, the blonde thought. Turn up the flirting game.

John giggled and God, Roger loved that sound.

"How is she?" Roger asked slowly, not wanting to upset the brunette.

John hummed and pressed the phone closer to his ear and shut his eyes. "Not too good. She seems to just be getting worse. She's spent a week in the hospital. She's coming home tomorrow morning." 

Roger quickly realised that the last thing John wanted was to be reminded of his sick grandma and so he soon changed the subject.

"I think we should talk."  
"Yeah."

Roger let out a sign and placed his thumb and pointer finger on his forehead. 

"I meant every word I said, Deaks."

John let out a wobbly sigh, the butterflies in his stomach going haywire. They were bouncing up and down to the point where John thought he'd throw up from the sensation. He didn't.

"I did too. But now that I think about it, i'm not too sure."

Those were the words that the blonde dreaded to hear. Wasn't too sure? Granted, it was risky and it would be hard, but Roger was willing to at least give it a go. Test the waters a little? 

"What do you mean?" Roger replied with urgency. 

"It's just... it would be so hard. And I honestly don't think i'd be able to handle it if anything went wrong. I'm losing my Nonna day by day, she'll be gone soon and i've come to terms with that. I can't loose you, too." The youngest cried.

Roger knew he was right. He wouldn't be able to take it either. If anything did happen between them and then something terrible happened to Nonna, Roger wanted to be there for John. 

As much as he wanted things to escalate between them, for them to become more than friends, a deep part of Roger knew he was making sense. It wasn't the time to act on quick decisions. Plus, with everything piling up on John, it wasn't fair to him for Roger to be adding to that stress. Roger should be the one calming him down and soothing him, not presenting him with hard to make decisions.

"No, you're right." Roger admitted over the phone. "You're right. With everything going on with your nonna, I think it'll be best to hold off for a bit. I want to be here for you and i'd much prefer being here as just a friend rather than not be here at all, y'know?" 

John was so glad he understood. He desperately wanted for their relationship to deepen but he knew that if he said yes, he wouldn't be able to fully commit as of now. He needed to put his nonna first and foremost. He didn't have time for a relationship right now, and he was so happy Roger understood that.

"I do want to be with you in the future Rog, I do. I really do. Just... not now." John squeezed his eyes shut, letting a tear run down his face. "Will you wait for me?" 

Roger nodded until he realised John couldn't see him. "Of course. I'll be right here."

Freddie sat in the living room with John, the blonde's feet situated over his lap (after many disgusted noises from Freddie). It was your typical lazy day. Both boys had been sat down watching the TV for around 5 hours until another letter came through the postbox.

Roger sprang up from the sofa as soon as he heard the rattle of the letter box and ran towards the door. 

"Is it from loverboy?" Freddie called from the living room, picking up a boiled strawberry sweet from the bowl on the coffee table. 

"Mhm." Roger hummed back in reply. "But i'm scared to open it." 

Freddie cocked an eyebrow. "Why's that dear? Normally you tear the envelope to shreds." 

The blonde let out a melancholy sigh and sat down next to his best friend, placing the unopened letter on the table for the time being. 

"We talked over the phone yesterday. You see, i'm whining about it now but it was a much needed call." 

Freddie didn't understand so he asked Roger to go into more detail of what happened over the phone.

It had been around four days since the call and this was the first letter he'd received since. The blonde told Freddie how John wanted to wait before things took off between them because of the whole Nonna situation.

"Well, it seems a very smart decision, actually. He needs time to look after his grandma and the stress of this... relationship.. won't help. So you've been rather smart for once, darling."

Roger nodded slowly. It sure didn't feel like he'd been smart. But he knew Freddie and John were right. Now wasn't the time to be selfish and cruel. He needed to help John through whatever was going on with Nonna, be that either as just friends or boyfriends. 

"Aren't you going to open it then, silly?" The dark haired man teased, reaching for the letter and passing it to Roger. "Go on. I wanna read it too."

Roger opened the letter with immense caution and lifted the letter out of the envelope. He unfolded it with his hands, a smile gracing his face once he saw John’s lovely italic handwriting once again. It felt like forever since they last wrote each other.

_Dear Rog,_

_I think this letter will be short. I don’t really know how long I can sit here at this desk and write before I start crying again._

Roger’s happy mood instantly deflated. “One sec Fred, I think i’m gonna have to read this one on my own.”

Once he reached his bedroom, he looked back at the paper again.

_I’m going to cut to the chase and say it. My Nonna died last night. I can’t really say it was sudden. I knew it would happen eventually. It’s just she was so happy and dandy during the day. It was one of her best ones, health and mood wise. I don’t understand._

_I don’t understand anything at the moment. I’ll probably refrain from writing for a while. I need to get my thoughts together. But please, don’t think i’ve forgotten about you or ignoring you. I’d give anything for you to be here right now but since you aren’t, I need to figure out everything._

_Thank you for being the kindest and sweetest and most genuine human I have ever met. I think about you everyday._

_All my love,  
Deaky x_

“Roger? Roger, dear, are you alright?” Freddie was knocking on the door, and Roger hadn’t even realised he’d been sat frozen on his bed crying for an hour and a half.

Roger shakily got up and opened his bedroom door, his eyes burning with hot tears.

“Oh, darling, what is it?” Freddie squeezed the blonde in a tight hug, rubbing his palm up and down his back in a soothing manner.

“How much money do we have?” Roger sniffled, using Freddie’s lovely cardigan as a tissue, but the eldest didn’t seem to mind.

“Out of the money we’ve saved up?” Freddie asked, still continuing to calm the sniffing boy down. Roger nodded and clung tighter to his best friend.

“Around 500. Why?” 

“Because I’m catching a flight to Italy.”


	27. finally / at last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one you’ve all been waiting for!!
> 
> Or is it? ;)

Roger was totally unfamiliar with Heathrow airport. Actually, he had never set foot in an airport his whole life. The closest he had come to one was when he drove past Heathrow on the bus when he travelled to Truro to visit his family.

It was perhaps the most noisy environment Roger had ever been in. Even noiser than Kensington market, and that was certainly saying something. There were people everywhere. Parents dragging their screaming children, the voice which rang through the whole building which announced the next plane to take off. It was all very overwhelming.

Roger glanced down at his boarding pass to check the details. He was going to be sat in seat A22 and was to be boarding the plane at 10 am exactly. He checked his watch. 9:49am.

He stood in the line gazing at all the people getting searched. He had no idea what to do. 

Once on the plane, Roger could finally relax. But then, the realisation of what he was actually doing sank in.

He was on a plane, heading to Italy, to meet the boy he had been writing to for months. It seemed surreal. He was heading to Italy to meet the boy he had well and truly fell for. Roger had never felt this way about any one before. He was used to the casual hook ups and one night stands. Before John, he never really knew that sense of security within a relationship. Granted, they weren't technically in a relationship at the moment, but still, it felt all the same. The blonde knew he had struck gold when he wrote to John the first time, but he never would have imagined anything like this: jumping on a plane to meet him. 

Roger was quite a spontaneous person but he even surprised himself by immediately catching a plane to Italy. He had used his and Freddie's savings which they had been keeping for almost half a year, so he knew that they were even further away from buying a decent apartment, but he couldn't find it within him to care; with every second he was getting closer to John, and that thought alone made him all giddy.

"Could you move your arm, please dear?" A croaky voice said to Roger's right. He turned to face an elderly woman with circular glasses. She was perhaps in her mid 70s, early 80s, and the stern look she gave him was most intimidating. "Your elbow is digging into my arm."

And she was right. His arm must have slipped whilst he was lost in his thoughts about John, and he quickly removed it. "Sorry ma'am. Must've slipped." He replied in the most polite tone he could muster.

"It's quite alright." She exclaimed with a smile. "You seemed quite out of it though, dear. Are you okay?" 

If he was being honest, Roger didn't feel like having much conversation. In the two hours it took to reach Italy, Roger was looking forward to completely zoning out and drowning himself in the thoughts of his brown-haired friend. However, he didn't want to seem rude, and he kept the small talk going.

"Oh yeah, just nervous." He chuckled whilst rubbing the back of his neck. He didn't even pack any snacks for the plane, which was a shame actually, because he was really craving some ready salted crisps. 

"Meeting someone special are we?" She cocked an eyebrow and smirked. The blonde was surprised at the flirting tone of the woman and he grinned back.

"Well, yes and no. We're just good friends." He wasn't technically lying. Actually, he wasn't lying at all, because that's all him and John were; good friends.

The old lady tipped her head back in laughter and reached for a piece of chocolate from her handbag. "I find that quite hard to believe, sugar. What's her name?"

Roger's eyes darted around the cabin in panic. "Uh.. Joan. She moved to Italy a few years ago." He wasn't exactly lying then, either. He was just.. .retelling the truth. 

"Ah, lovely name for a lovely girl, I suspect?" 

Roger nodded slowly, a slight blush creeping up onto his cheeks. "Yes..." he stuttered. "S-she's very lovely."

And at that, the conversation was halted. In the next two hours, though, Roger had come to learn that the old lady's name was in fact Mabel, and she was flying to go and see her grand son, Alexander. She offered Roger some of her fruit and nut chocolate and when the air hostess came around the cabin and Roger found out he hadn't bought any extra money with him, Mabel bought him a hot chocolate and a packet of ready salted crisps. 

All in all, it was a very good flight.

The first thing Roger noticed when they landed in Italy was, by _God_ , the _heat_. He had never felt such an intense slap of warmth across his whole body. He was sweating within the first five minutes he stepped off the plane. He really wasn't looking forward to all the airport malarky once again but, to his pleasant surprise, it only took around twenty minutes to get through security. 

He immediately noticed the difference between London and Milan, where he currently was. The air smelled fresher and cleaner, despite Roger being outside an incredibly busy airport. Everything just seemed... nicer. Everything was brighter and more colourful, the sky was bluer, the grass and trees were greener. Whilst Roger adored London, he couldn't help but think it wouldn't be too bad to live here either. 

To get to Crema, where his John was, he had to take the bus. It wasn't a very long drive, just around 50 minutes, but the thought of catching the bus in a completely different country was nerve wracking.

On the plane, Roger had made the smart decision to learn a little bit of Italian, just enough for the locals to be able to understand he wanted one single ticket to Crema, please. 

He gazed upon the rose bushes which surrounded the pathways leading up to the airport and he was surprised to hear the sound of calm running water nearby. To his left was a little stream of clear, crystal water, flowing freely. Everything in Italy was just so... delicate. He didn't really know how to describe it in any other words. It was like he had entered a labyrinth of rose bushes, hyacinths and heat. 

He wondered if John had ever been here. If he was standing in the same spot John had some years ago. The whole journey seemed to dawn on him then. He was here, in Italy, carrying very little luggage, sweat dripping down his wet forehead, not even an hour away from his love, his John. 

He then began to panic. He hadn't thought this through at all. And not to mention, the whole reason why he suddenly flew to Italy was to comfort John because his nonna died.

This wasn't a happy trip. John was falling apart slowly but surely, and Roger wanted to be there for him and try to keep John on his feet. But he wasn't even sure of how he would react the moment he saw Roger at his door.

 _Would he be angry at me? Scream at me? Tell me to go away?_ None of these sounded like things John would do, but John was very vulnerable at the moment. The last thing Roger wanted was to stress him out even more. 

The bus was finally approaching and Roger braced himself to speak a little Italian. Surely they would notice that he's not fluent and go a bit easy on him. He greeted the bus driver, who had the most fabulous hair Roger had seen in his life, with a content smile. He held his hand out holding €2 and took a deep breath.

"Uh.. un solo..uh- biglietto? yes, biglietto, per Crema.. uh, per favore." 

The bus driver just chuckled, feeling a little sorry for the small blonde passenger, nodded and took the money from his shaking hand. "certo, grazie." He replied in a gruff voice

Roger took a seat right at the back of the bus and looked at his ticket. It seemed to be a single to Crema so he sighed in relief. 

The next 50ish minutes seemed to drag on forever. It was probably the longest hour of his life. He had spent what felt like an eternity gazing out the window at the gorgeous Italian scenery. He then got out the piece of paper which he scribbled John's address on a couple months ago.

Half an hour passed before Roger checked his watch. He almost screamed when he realised there was another twenty minutes of his journey. He bit his lip in anticipation.

He bet John looked even more beautiful in real life. He couldn't wait to be in the presence of him. He seemed to just leak beauty and kindness. He couldn't wait to see those bright, wonderful eyes staring right into his own.

But even though Roger was more than excited to take John into his arms and squeeze him, a sense of sadness washed over him when he thought of the boy. It had only been what, a week? since Nonna died, and he couldn't imagine what sort of state the boy would be in. He didn't want to imagine it. 

Funnily enough, time seemed to fly by when he was engulfed in his thoughts about John. Just at the moment he looked out of the window, he saw a sign welcoming him to Crema. It was then his heart starting beating wildly.

He had went through all the possible outcomes of what would happen when John opened the door to him in his mind. He would either welcome him in or shoo him away. Deep down, Roger knew John wasn't a cruel person, so he doubted he'd do the latter, but he certainly wouldn't blame John if he did. Maybe John hated surprises?

Roger thanked the bus driver in shaky Italian and stepped out into the hot Italian summer heat once again. There was a slight breeze and it blew through Roger's hair softly, giving him a lovely cool sensation. He studied John's address once again and took out a map. This was going to take a while.

Ten minutes into his endless wondering, Roger passed a woman with long, dark hair, her eyes covered with sunglasses and her tartan skirt flowing freely around her knees.

"Mi scusi?" Roger tried, hoping she'd understand.

She turned to look at him with a smile. "Sì?" She answered, clasping onto her shoulder bag with both hands.

"Uh.." Roger stuttered. He raised an eyebrow and showed her the address. "Lo sai?" 

The woman studied the address for a little while before she nodded, pointing to a little street Roger had passed before. 

"I speak little English.." she admitted, which led to Roger letting out a massive sigh of relief.  
"Turn there," the woman said whilst still pointing at the street. "Right to end.. then left... then first road on right."

Roger remembered the directions and was so elated he kissed the woman on the cheek excitedly. "Thank you!" He cried, before he skipped along, heading towards the first street she pointed to.

And before Roger knew it, there it was.

_2 Via Galli_

_Lombardy_

_Crema, Italy_

_26013_

The five digit number was scribbled on a letter box which stood proudly outside the two story building. The walls were a beige-yellowy colour and there was a number of windows each covered with wooden blinds. On the second floor there was a precious white balcony, which held a number of plants.

There was a little driveway with no car on it, and to its right was a lovely garden obliterated with delicate flowers such as daisies, orchids and bluebells. The gate which led to the front door of the house was a dark brown colour, and the gate itself had a little pointy roof on top.

Inside that very building was John. Well, Roger hoped. He prayed he hadn’t got the wrong house but, knowing him, he probably had. 

But if he hadn’t, and this was in fact where John resided, this was the very place in which John constructed each of the letters. This was the place John was during one of their telephone calls. This was the place where Roger’s love lived, and the blonde’s fingers were starting to shake with a mixture of excitement and anxiousness.

He carefully stepped forward and placed his right hand on the wooden gate. He unlocked it ever so cautiously and took a step into the garden. 

The sweet smell of the Italian summer heat mixed with the garden of flowers sent a shot of adrenaline right to Roger’s heart. With every step he took his breathing became heavier and his ears rang out. He was so close.

And then he came to the front door. And he knocked. He knocked once, twice and then a third time. There was no going back now. Here he was, in the middle of Italy, holding a crumpled map in his left fist, knocking on the front door of the man who he had fallen in love with in only a few short letters and a handful of phone calls. He was insane. He was well and truly insane.

“One second.” A voice rang out from behind the walls of the house, and Roger almost shed a tear. But he willed it back, not wanting to ruin their first meeting by bursting out into tears.

There was a click, and then a creak which came from the tall oak door as the person behind it pulled it open.

And there he was. John, in all his wondrous glory. His face was no different from the pictures he had sent Roger through the mail. His skin was a lovely tanned colour, thanks to the constant sun, and his eyes shone brightly. His hair cascaded past his shoulders and Roger wanted to run his fingers through it. The boy’s mouth physically dropped at the sight of the blonde and his eyes got wider.

There were no words exchanged as they both stared at each other in confusion as well as disbelief. Even though Roger travelled here by himself, there was a little part of him which didn’t think that any of this was real, and that John didn’t actually exist because he was too perfect, too good. But no. Here he was, and he was stood right in front of him, jaw wide open.

“Roger?” John rasped out, his knuckles turning white with how hard he was holding onto the door knob. “Roger is that you?”

The blonde had suddenly forgotten how to speak. He was just letting out these weird, mumbly noises. He snapped himself out of it.

“Yes. Hello, John.” He finally replied, his eyes welling up again.

“W-what are you doing here?” The brunette asked, still very much in disbelief that the blonde was stood on his doorstep, face read with a bead of sweat dripping down his temple.

“I, uh.. wanted to see you. Was worried about you. You sounded awful with the letter you wrote and... and I just wanted to uh, check up on you, y’know?” Roger tucked his hands in his back pockets and looked at the ground, wanting to hide his oncoming blush from John.

“You just... wanted to check up.. on me?” 

The blonde nodded, biting the inside of his cheek. “I know you said none of your family are here and so I knew you were... alone, so I flew over to kind of.. give you some comfort? Because I can’t imagine the pain you’re in right now.”

John just stayed silent, staring at Roger with hot tears in his eyes. He didn’t know how to reply, and the whole situation was overwhelming. He was beginning to get a little lightheaded, and so he took Roger’s hand, lead him inside, shut the door and fully collapsed in his arms.

Roger caught him, of course, and fell to the ground with John’s weight being put on him all at once. He wasn’t heavy at all actually, but his knees due to the fact they were weak with all the emotions the blonde was feeling. Here John was, in his arms, and God dammit he’d never let go.

They both let go of their tears in unison and cried in each other’s arms. John wrapped his arms around Roger’s neck and tucked his face into the crook of his neck, breathing him in. Roger threaded his fingers through John’s soft hair and squeezed him tight to his body. They cried and cried and they never let go. They didn’t want to let go. They were a bundled heap on the floor of John’s home he used to share with his beloved Nonna. 

Their limbs were so tangled they didn’t know where their bodies began and ended. John was still breathing in Roger’s scent, a mix of sweat and sweetness, and Roger was still squeezing the younger boy to his chest.

“I’m so glad you’re here.” John whispered, never faltering to let go.

Roger nodded and hugged him even tighter. “Me too. I’m here, it’s okay. You’re not alone here anymore.” He assured, rubbing his hand up and down on John’s back. Up and down, up and down.

John pressed a gentle kiss to Roger’s neck, and Roger wasn’t sure if he had forgotten their situation or not, but he wasn’t complaining. The sensation of the younger man’s lips on his skin was thrilling, and Roger wanted to feel it again and again, wanted to feel the softness on his own lips. But he didn’t push it. He just clung tighter to John, pressing a delicate kiss on his shoulder in return. 

They were together, at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the wait, lovelies! This is the longest chapter yet and I hope it was satisfactory!! 3000+ words :)
> 
> I was going to make this super long and add in way more of John and Roger’s time together, but I think that’d be a bit too overwhelming. Plus, it just means you guys have yet another chapter coming your way!  
> Hope you enjoyed<3  
> Again, not proofread because my thumbs hurt and I am incredibly lazy.
> 
> All my love,  
> Abs x


	28. stir fry & kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi lovelies! Im back!  
> So sorry for the long wait. I have some end notes as well but I just wanted to say that this chapter has very, very, **very** minor references to not eating properly. Literally just a single sentence but I just wanted to warn you guys. Please read with caution my loves.  
> Anyways, you’ve waited long enough :)

"How have you been?"

John was walking into the living room from the kitchen carrying a tray of tea and biscuits. He clutched onto the tray tightly and his cheeks turned a light pink when Roger spoke.

"Could be better but.. you know." John replied, setting Roger's tea in front of him, the blonde emitting a quiet 'thank you'.

Roger took the mug and held it to his lips, not taking his eyes off of John. He was even more beautiful than he imagined. He wanted to kiss the little mole on his upper cheek and poke his finger into the dimple when he smiled.

The two sat in silence for a mere five minutes. It wasn't exactly an awkward silence but it wasn't the most comfortable either. 

"Are you happy i'm here?" Roger wondered, treading lightly. John didn't reply, he just nodded and leant back on the sofa, placing his head on Roger's shoulder and shutting his eyes.

"Tired?" Roger smiled, letting out a tiny laugh. John nodded again. He looked so small and innocent in the blonde's arms, Roger never wanted to let him go.

"Okay." He whispered, tightening his arm around the sleepy brunette. They sat on the sofa watching the television, basking in each other's warmth and embrace.

They both woke up on the sofa around two hours later. Neither of them remembered falling asleep, but neither of them found themselves complaining. John still had his head on Roger's shoulder, some of his blonde hair in his mouth. He squirmed at the taste and brushed it away. 

Roger grumbled and nuzzled in closer to John's shoulder, making the younger boy giggle and snuggle closer into him. He had been alone in his Nonna's empty house for days now and he craved the closeness Roger was currently giving him.

It was crazy that Roger just spontaneously hopped on a flight to just 'check on him'. It was single handedly the kindest and most loving thing anybody had ever done for him. He couldn't imagine the amount of money Roger spent just getting here, and John couldn't help but feel guilty. Neither of them were the richest of the bunch, so Roger spending his hard earned money to travel to Italy to see John was mind blowing to the brunette.

John took a couple moments to just look at his blonde companion. He had the smoothest and brightest skin and the peachy colour it had complimented his shiny blue eyes perfectly. His long, black eyelashes lay delicately on his upper cheek as his chest lifted up and down, up and down. And John couldn't help but gaze at his lips. His perfect pink, pouty lips which John desperately wanted to kiss but he knew it wouldn't be a good idea. He was the one who proposed they stay just friends at the moment, and he was going to keep that pact.

Some of Roger's hair lay over his eyes as he subconsciously tilted his face towards John's chest. John brushed the locks away softly, not wanting to wake the blonde just yet. He must be so tired from his travelling, he deserved his beauty sleep.

But alas, that plan didn't really work out, as not a moment later, Roger opened his eyes, blue meeting grey. **(A/N i can never tell what exact colour John's eyes are so lets just go with a bluey greeny grey)**

"Hello." Roger's gruff waking-up voice sounded out, and John stifled a giggle.

"Hello sleepyhead." He teased, smiling down at the cushion marks imprinted on Roger's cheeks.

"Hey, if I remember correctly, you were asleep as well!" The blonde replied, raising his head from his sleeping position. His hair was all scruffy and knotted, sticking up in random places. John wanted to run his hands through it.

"Mhm, you're right. I was shattered." 

Roger nodded slowly in agreement. "What time is it?" 

"Around 4, I think. We've been asleep for a good couple hours." 

Both boys were bending their necks back and forward, trying to loosen the stiffness caused by their awkward sleeping positions. John heard Roger's crack and jumped at the noise.

Roger sighed in relief, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck. "You hungry? When was the proper meal you had?"

John bit his lip in though. "Well, I had tinned peaches last night."

Roger raised an eyebrow. "A _proper_ meal, John." 

"Probably the night before nonna..." he couldn't finish his sentence. Saying it out loud made it seem all too real. Admitting it to Roger over the phone was hard enough.

The blonde nodded in understanding and wrapped his arm around John's shoulders. "C'mon, let's see what gorgeous Italian delicacies you have in your fridge." 

John giggled. "Not many _delicacies_ , I assure you." 

Roger chuckled and wrapped his arm tighter around the brunette's shoulders, giving off warmth as well as receiving it. John was like a human radiator.

When they reached the kitchen, Roger basked in the hot sunlight that shone through the windows. It was more of an orange tone since the sun was beginning to set and Roger couldn't remember the last time he saw actual warm sun in rainy London.

"Right, so..." the blonde made his way to the fridge and opened it, letting the cool interior wash over him. 

Admittedly there wasn't a lot of choice in there and Roger made a mental note to take John grocery shopping tomorrow. Granted he had only around €30 to his name, but he could make it work. 

There was a tub of butter, some milk, a pack of cheese, a small bag of carrots, a pack of cold sausage rolls, some orange juice, broccoli and peppers. A lovely colourful assortment but an assortment which would be tricky to make a meal from. 

Roger wasn't the most fantastic cook but he could manage the basics. Jacket potato, scrambled egg, cheese on toast, microwave noodles. 

But then, an idea struck him. He eyed up the peppers, broccoli and carrots and a grin overtook his face.

"Have you got any noodles? Spaghetti type stuff?" He asked John, grabbing the vegetables from his fridge.

"Uh, yeah." John replied, walking over to the cupboards to get out a pack of Chinese style noodles.

Roger was going to make the only fancy thing he knew how to make: stir fry. 

"This might be a stretch but... soy sauce?" 

To Roger's surprise, John nodded. He grabbed a bottle of soy sauce from the cupboard. "When me and Nonna used to make spaghetti, she used to cover it all in soy sauce. Weird but she liked it." John smiled fondly at the memory.

Roger grinned sympathetically and, to both boys' surprise, he leaned over to press a chaste kiss on the top of John's head.

"You like stir fry?" The blonde asked, silently begging he did. Thankfully, the brunette broke out into a huge smile and Roger took that to be a yes.

"Right so, admittedly I haven't made this in about four years, but how hard can it be?" Roger thought out loud, earning a chortle from John.

"Please don't burn down my lovely kitchen." John playfully begged, his legs swinging side to side where he was sat on the kitchen counter, observing his blonde friend.

"I'll try not to but... no promises." Roger winked, earning a rosy blush from John. The blonde placed a small wok on the hob and began to work. 

"Could you chop up the carrots, peppers and broccoli for me please?" Roger asked politely, and John grabbed a chopping knife and board.

"Please don't cut your fingers off." Roger laughed nervously.

"I'll try but... no promises." The younger boy teased. Roger chuckled whilst shaking his head.  
"Little shit."

Roger popped the noodles into the pan and added a generous amount of soy sauce. When John announced he was done with the veggies, he added them in too, slowly and carefully. The steam flew up from the pan, making both boys' faces red and slightly wet. 

Roger knew the way he cooked stir fry probably wasn't correct at all, and he knew that if any Chinese person saw him making it they would most likely be screaming and tearing their hair out, but it worked and it was simple. John seemed to enjoy it anyways, and that was good enough for him.

"This is gorgeous!" The brunette said with his mouth completely full with the flavourful remedy. It didn't taste too bad, actually. The vegetables were nice and soft and the noodles were cooked just perfectly. All in all, it was a win.

"Considering I haven't made it in years, i'm quite proud of myself. I don't know how to boil an egg yet I can make a crackin' stir fry." 

John looked at him mid way slurping up some noodles and raised an eyebrow. He swallowed and placed his knife and fork into his bowl. "You don't know how to boil an egg?"

The blonde blushed red and looked down at his plate, not wanting to make eye contact out of embarrassment. He shook his head and muttered a small 'nope.'

John giggled at how cute he though Roger was being. "Don't worry," he whispered. "I'll show you how tomorrow. Just need to get some eggs."

Roger bolted his head up with a smile. "That reminds me!" He announced. "We have to go grocery shopping tomorrow. You've hardly got anything in." 

John nodded in defeat, shoving another forkful of noodles and vegetables in his mouth. 

The two boys ate their stir fry in peace, both so glad to be in each other's company. John knew that if Roger wasn't here, he'd probably be having another bowl of tinned crap instead of a proper meal. 

"Thank you." John finally said, his emotions getting the better of him.

"What for?" Roger wondered, chewing some broccoli. 

"Everything. Thank you for coming here and thank you for cooking a lovely meal. If it weren't for you, i'd probably be skin and bones by next week. I haven't really been eating properly."

Roger looked at him with sorrow and placed his now empty plate on the coffee table in front of them. He squished up closer to John and smiled. "You don't have to thank me." 

The rest of the day was pretty much filled with rest. After dinner, neither of them moved off the sofa except for when Roger took their empty plates into the kitchen. 

"What you wanna watch?" Roger said quietly after their episode of _A New Life In The Sun_ ended.

John shrugged, cuddling in closer to Roger. "Dunno. Put whatever on." 

Roger clicked the first channel on the tv guide and they settled in. Neither of them could pay any attention, though.

Both of them realised they were being awfully touchy and close despite them both agreeing they would stay strictly friends. Did male friends usually cuddle up together on a sofa? Neither of them minded though, of course. In fact, it was incredibly warm and cosy. When John was in the blonde's arms he felt like the past week hadn't happened. That his nonna was fine, just chilling in the next room or making herself a cup of tea.

John wasn't a very emotional person and so he surprised himself when he felt hot tears making their way down his face. One of them dropped down onto Roger's collarbone and he realised immediately.

"Hey, hey, hey, what's wrong?" He cried, lifting John's face up softly by his fingertips. Meeting Roger's beautiful blue eyes just made him cry even more. He didn't deserve his endless kindness and worry. Roger deserved better than being cramped up in a tiny Italian villa with an emotional loser. John was being selfish, keeping him here.

"Hey, come on, tell me love." Roger insisted, stroking John's salty tears away from his cheek.

"I really miss her." John managed to choke out, meeting Roger's eyes. He let out a loud sob and covered his eyes with his palms.

"Hey, Johnny, look, look it's okay. Nonna wouldn't want you to be upset now, would she?" John shook his head. "So come on, look at me." 

John did as he was told and he took his hands away from his red, blotchy face. He felt embarrassed to be in such a mess in front of the person he adored and he wanted to cover himself again.

"Talk to me, love." Roger croaked out, brushing a strand of hair behind John's ear. 

John let out a sad sigh and leant his face on Roger's shoulder. "I just feel so.. worthless. And selfish." 

Roger couldn't believe his ears. Worthless? Selfish? "What?" He answered, a look of confusion taking over his feature.

"Worthless because.. I-I couldn't even take care of myself b-before you came here. It's like i'm a stupid, w-worthless child who can't do shit. It's embarrassing.

"A-and selfish because you're here with an emotional wreck when you could... when you could be out with your f-friends or.. something." 

Roger was stunned into silence. "John... John you know none of that is true, right?" His heart broke for the younger boy.

"You could be doing anything right now. Me keeping you here is selfish and i'm so sorry." 

The tears kept flowing and flowing. 

"John, you're being stupid."

John looked up at Roger with hurt. His eyes began to water again. Roger kissed him on the forehead.

"None of what you said is true, whatsoever." John scoffed. "No, John, listen to me."

"I'm staying here by _choice_ , John. If i had wanted to leave, if I had wanted to go be with my friends getting piss drunk, I could have easily left hours ago. But I didn't. Because I want to be here, with you, taking care of you. 

And get the thought of you being selfish out of your pretty little head. You're being the complete opposite. You're so fucking strong, love. I don't even know how you're holding up. I can't imagine the pain you're in, which is why I want to stay and take care of you. You're not being selfish, I promise." 

And with that, John leant forward and connected his lips with Roger's with so much force Roger fell back on the sofa. 

Their lips moved in perfect sync before Roger slowly and softly pushed John away by his chest.  
John wasn't letting up, though, trying to re connect their lips multiple times before he finally gave up, out of breath.

"What's wrong?" He gasped, cheeked flushed, whilst running a hand quickly through his hair.

"We agreed _just friends_ , John. That was _your_ decision. You're just acting on impulse because you're in pain and you're emotional." Roger said softly, tucking yet another strand of John's hair behind his ear.

"No, no, that's not it. It was a stupid decision, I take it back!"

"John, I don't want to do this if you'll regret it by tomorrow, which I feel like you will if-"

"Rog, Roger no, no, I _told_ you how I feel about you before all this shit happened. I told you and now you're _here_ and I don't want to waste this because I don't know when i'll see you again after this visit."

"You should come live with me." 

John shut up then. What? Go and live with Roger? John thought Roger was just playing a cruel little game to shut him up but he looked dead serious.

"What?" The brunette whispered, finally out of his hysterical mode.

"Come live with me. I mean, I live with Freddie too but... we could share a room." Roger suggested, a look of hope shining in his eyes.

John wasn't really sure what to say. Could he really just live Italy behind? Leave his and his nonna's villa behind? 

"Just think about it. You have no relatives here anymore... they all live in the UK, right?"

John nodded in slowly, secretly happy that Roger remembered those tiny little details about John's life.

"If you come live with me, you can see them again. And... and uh- you'll be with me, as well. If you uh... if you want that. I can be pretty annoying at times." Roger rubbed the back of his neck with his hand again. Must be a cute little nervous habit.

He looked around the living room. The pale yellow walls and the spanish-style tile flooring that his nonna adored. And as much as it hurt to say, it wasn't his and his nonna's villa anymore. Nonna wasn't here now. And John didn't know if he'd be able to cope walking past her bedroom every night to reach his own room. Didn't think he could handle seeing the glass of half filled orange juice which was his nonna's, but hadn't had the guts to tip out and move ever since she died.

The villa didn't even _smell_ like it used to any more. It smelt of sadness and illness. Like a hospital. The majority of memories he had here were more than positive, and whilst they still remained and letting go of the place he had come to grow up in would be tough, this was also the place where Nonna died in pain. He didn't like it without her anymore.

"Okay." He finally answered.

It was clear that Roger hadn't expected him to say yes to his request and a look of shock wavered over his face. His eyes went wide and his jaw dropped open. But the look of shock was quickly overcome with absolute happiness and thrill.

"Really? You'll come back with me?" The blonde cried excitedly, leaning closer to the brunette.

"Yes, Roger. I'll come back with you, if that's okay? Maybe you should check with Freddie. I don't want to be a nui-" 

But John was completely cut off when Roger practically jumped on him, enveloping him in the tightest hug he had ever had. He hugged back without hesitation, though.

Roger smelt fantastic, as well. The cologne he was wearing really did do things to John and it made his tummy tingle a little bit.

"Roger?" John asked, his voice a bit muffled due to the close proximity he and Roger were in.

"Mhm?" The blonde replied, letting go of John and leaning back to meet his eyes.

"Can you kiss me?" The brunette asked politely, and Roger could see how much he wanted it. Heck, Roger wanted it as well, _so bad_ , but he didn't want to take advantage of John whilst he was so emotional.

"John-"

"You don't have to if you don't want to, but... I would really like to. And it's not because i'm emotional or anything. I just really want to kiss you and this whole friend idea was stupid and I hate it because you're the nicest person i've ever met and i'd be an absolute idiot to let you go because i'm shy."

The blonde smiled fondly and leaned slowly towards John. "You sure?" John nodded and closed his eyes, leaning forward so their noses touched. They stayed like that for a few moments, noses and foreheads touching, breathing over each others faces. It was so intimate and both boys' stomaches were filled with butterflies.

And then their lips met for a second time, but this time it was more real. It wasn't rushed and sloppy like the first one, it was slow and passionate and loving. Roger's lips were so soft and John found himself wanting to kiss them all day long.

John threaded his hands through Roger's soft locks _finally_ , grabbing onto it for dear life. The blonde moaned into his mouth and John whimpered at the delightful sensation. 

"Oh God..." Roger murmured between kisses, diving in for more as soon as he parted. They were clinging onto each other like it was the last time they'd ever see one another.

They were then forced to separate to grasp some air. Both boys were panting and John kept his hands in the blonde's hair, scratching his scalp softly, earning soft purrs from Roger.

"Wanna do it again?" John asked bashfully once he had caught his breath. 

"Yeah, go on then." Roger replied, diving onto John, both of them _snogging_ like they'd never _snogged_ before, the blonde lowering John down on the sofa, ending up on top of him. But John really didn't mind the extra weight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god! Hi lovelies! I'm so so so sorry for the awfully long wait. I'm not one for excuses but school has really been kicking my ass as of late, my GCSE's being just two months away :/ but i hope this was worth the wait!  
> Leave your thoughts please! Whilst i might not be able to reply to all of them, I do read every lovely comment you darlings post.
> 
> \- a.


	29. the last one (?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last one! Still debating an epilogue a few years into the future but i'm not too sure.... hence the question mark in the chapter title ;)

Roger ended up staying with John for a whole two weeks. Those two weeks were filled with ups and downs. Moments of utter happiness and utter sadness. Of course, John had his down days; like the time when he heard his Nonna's favorite song being played on the radio and Roger had to take him into his arms, kiss his tears away and whisper sweet nothings to him.

It was Sunday morning and Roger knew he had to go home eventually. But, he wanted to take John with him. He had proposed the idea to the younger boy a little while ago but never got a definite answer. But Roger needed to leave with or without John, but he preferred the first idea. 

They were sat on the sofa again, watching an Italian TV show. Roger didn't understand a thing and he wasn't sure if John did either, going off by the fact the boys' eyes kept opening and closing out of tiredness.

"Hey John?" Roger started, wanting to get the inevitable conversation over and done with.

"Mmm?"John hummed in reply.

"Can we talk for a sec?"

John sat up out of Roger's embrace and looked into his eyes. "What's wrong?" He said, alarmed. 

Roger tucked a strand of hair behind John's ear in reassurance. "It's just... we both know I have to go back home sooner or later. And you do remember what I said two weeks ago..."

John nodded. He did know what Roger proposed two weeks ago. That he returns to England alongside him. John had slept on that idea many times and he still couldn't say he had made up his mind. In his head, he had made up a list of pros and cons of going back with Roger.

_Pro; I'd be with Roger. Obvious pro._

_Con; i'd know nobody there and have to get used to a brand new life with brand new people_

_Pro; I could see my family more_

_Con; where would I stay? where would I work? I have £0 to my name until Nonna's inheritance comes through. I'm broke._

"I don't know. I'm broke. I don't know where I'd work or where I'd stay..." 

Roger scoffed and raised an eyebrow. "You'd stay with me and Freddie, silly. And Freddie isn't that all that bad, I promise. He's a wonderful flatmate."

John wasn't too sure about that idea. Sure, it would ease some of his worries. He would have a place to stay and he could relax a little more before he'd have to get a job to pay his share of the rent. Plus, he'd be with Roger more. And he couldn't wait to meet Freddie. He sounded quite the character. 

"I don't want to take up yours and Freddie's space. It's not fair." John mumbled, twiddling his thumbs and biting his lip. He wished he still had some tea left in his mug. 

Roger scoffed. "What? Don't be stupid, Deaks. I'm offering, aren't I? I'd love for you to stay with us, and Freddie will be delighted. He's been waiting to meet you in person. He was the one cheering when I announced I was coming here." Roger joked. He threaded his fingers through John's delicate locks.

"You told me that Nonna was the only relative over here with you. Back home, you will be able to see your family again. I know how much your mum and Julie." The blonde said softly, secretly praying John would take him up on his offer.

John remained silent and looked down at the floor. He did miss his family. Terribly. And Nonna was the only relative he had over here in Crema. He would give anything to see his mum again and see if she got any better. 

"When are you leaving?" John whispered.

Roger looked at the clock. He was planning on leaving tomorrow.

"Tomorrow but I'm not sure about the time." 

John nodded and sniffed a little. "Okay." He finally answered.

Roger's eyes widened in surprise. "Okay? Does that mean you'll come home with me?" 

The younger boy nodded and took Roger's hands in his shaking ones. "Yeah." 

It was Monday morning and John, to put it lightly, was shitting himself. He hadn't travelled in years. Not on an aeroplane, anyways. The last time he had been on a plane was when he and his Nonna were flying to Italy together. He had never left the country since. 

He loved it in Italy, he did. He loved the scalding hot weather, which he knew England didn't have. He loved the gorgeous atmosphere and the sights. He loved biking around to his favourite libraries and cafe's. And it was true, Italian pizzas were the best. Flowers bloomed everywhere. He had his little secret spots, too. He wished he had took Roger to some but he had just been too melancholy. 

"You okay?" Roger's soothing voice dragged him out of his daydream. John nodded in response and placed his hand on the blonde's arm. 

When they boarded the plane, John was overcome with nerves. But as long as he had Roger by his side, he would be completely fine. He was actually thrilled to be going back to England so he could see his mother and sister once again. He knew his Nonna would be proud of him.

When nobody was looking, he placed a sensual kiss on Roger's lips, who chuckled into the kiss. "What was that for, hm?" He teased.

John just shrugged with a bright smile upon his face. "Don't know. Just... I love being with you, y'no? I can't wait to live with you... and Freddie." he giggled. 

Roger brung John's head to lean on his shoulder and kissed his temple. "I'm so glad I signed up for that weird pen pal site." He admitted in a whisper.


	30. <33

Hi guys!  
Just wanted to promote my new fic (because im so proud of it!!) ‘Art Deco’  
Its up now at  
https://archiveofourown.org/works/23429887/chapters/56156698  
(Or you can just visit my profile and it’ll be under my works!)  
It would mean the absolute world to me if you could leave some kudos or maybe even a comment.  
Thank you lovelies💞


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